ignorantly speaking.

Two situations happened in the course of a couple days apart. Below is the recap of what happened to me on Wednesday and last night.

The Original Blog Post called, Ignorance Is Bliss, composed Wednesday, February 15, 2012…

Ignorance Is Bliss
Often, people are judged based on their appearance, religion, or orientation.

As an adult, I’ve already been faced with discrimination because of my weight.

When I was younger, my grandmother used to say, “Estelle,  if people call you fat, you simply reply, I know… I have a mirror. ” Being a young girl, I was too afraid to speak up. A part of me wanted to yell and shout, but another part of me didn’t want the drama. I just wanted to be left alone.

Now, when I was teased for being overweight as a child, it hurt. Let’s face it though, kids are kids. At one point or another, children are going to tease and are going to be teased…at least that’s the mentality I have developed overtime.

However, it hurts more as an adult. I want to think that as an adult, teasing and bullying wouldn’t exist anymore for me. Then comes the occasional smirk from a younger kid or an teen. It’s situations such as those that prevented me from dressing the way I wanted. I didn’t want to be stared at or laughed at. Let’s just be real, I felt ugly and I felt that I wasn’t pretty. Why even bother wearing certain clothes if I wasn’t meant to wear it. With that, I let random strangers whom I didn’t know intimidate me- and that in itself is sad.

As I am writing this blog, it is 9:13 AM. There is a random older female staring at me. She is the reason I am writing this blog.

Often on public transportation, we are faced with homeless people who harass others for money, others who smell like an onion field, and those who are just plain mean, to name a few. This morning, a seat became available on the train. I knew there was space for me on the train. However, when there are two “men” who do not want to close their legs and a woman who looks so bitchy and nasty, sitting down may be a problem. I guess you know where I am going with this… I thanked the “man” next to me for moving over and I was greeted with curse words from both this person and the woman. I continued to listen to my i-pod. I’m not going to lie, I was hurt. But I felt that if I had gotten up, I would have let them win. I will not let people, let alone strangers continue to hurt my feelings and take my energy.

In fact, I should thank these people for giving me experiences I can learn from and share with the world.

—Now this was Wednesday’s blog… check out my addition!


Last night, I didn’t know whether to laugh or curse…

I was walking with my mom, sister, cousin, and boyfriend after visiting my grandmother to look for a cab. My mom quickly spotted a cab and wanted to go inside. However, I didn’t wanted to walk with my boyfriend. My cousin graciously offered to walk with him to the train station. So I went in the cab with my mom and sis.

The cab driver looked very annoyed. I can understand why he looked annoyed- he wasn’t sure if he was going to get a fare. The cab driver turned around and looked at my mom and strongly said, “Is it because I am not Dominican that you didn’t want to go in my cab?” Honestly, I knew that this was the beginning of something bad, because my mom looked at him as if she were going to punch him in the face. Her face said it all. I knew the daggers were on!

However, my mom isn’t one to let people absorb her energy… My mom just simply said, “What does being Dominican have to do with anything. I am not Dominican. My address is…” The cab driver then says, “I know how YOU Dominicans are!” Again, my mom says, “My address is…” The rest of the 15 minutes were in that cab were left in utter silence. My response to the situation was to meerly write on Facebook, “Shit.Just.Got.Real.” I didn’t know what else to say.

When the cab stopped in front of my apartment building, the cab driver kept instigating saying, “I know how YOU Dominicans are!” I give my mother credit for not yelling at the cab driver. All I did was laugh at what he was saying. That’s the only reaction I have.



I dedicate this blog to my cousin Tuti who unexpectedly passed away this afternoon at the age of 31. This serves as the message that tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. As a family, we must be united, despite the good moments and bad moments. I love you guys!


doc tips.

If anyone knows me, I’m either at work, in the city, or at Lincoln Hospital. It sucks, but hey let’s face it, I get sick more often than others.

There are a few things I have learned in preparing to the doctor, both from family and friends… So today, I am going to share these tips with you.

  1. Have a Notebook: A notebook is not just for the everyday writer. Have a small notebook, with your information written down. Just make sure you don’t lose it. Have information written down such as: emergency contact information, directions how to get to the doctor.  I suggest going to www.hopstop.com for looking up directions. Also, have your insurance information written down in case you don’t have your card.
  2. Have Cell Phone Charged: This is very very very important. Have your cellphone charged before you go to the doctor. One never knows what is going to happen. Worst case senario is that you stay in the hospital longer than expected, and can’t make it to work or you need someone to pick you up.
  3. If You Don’t Have The Phone Then…: Have change, seriously! My grandmother always tells me to have at least a couple of dollars in quarters, and $2o. If your cell phone dies, then at least you will have change to call someone if needed. The $20 should be carried in case you aren’t feeling well, and don’t want to take public transportation and want to take a cab instead. Also, if you want to buy something to eat, and the establishment doesn’t take credit and/or debit cards, you will be prepared.
  4. Always Know What Medications You Are Taking: My grandmother always tells me to carry and prescriptions I am taking to the doctor with me, especially the ER. However, I didn’t realize the importance until I went to my last doctor’s important. When the doctor asked me what mediciations I am taking or was prescribed, I looked at her like she had two heads. I was really embarrased. I said, ummm I think it starts with a T. You definitely don’t want to be in that situation.
  5. Wear Clean, If Possible All Black Underwear: Wear your best undergarments and a t-shirt underneath. When going to the ER and/or physical, you never know if you are going to get a shot or if the doctor is going to examine you. If you are not comfortable showing your bra or chest, then definitely wear the second shirt.
  6. Have Your Indentification Card: Almost always, when going to see a new doctor, the front desk will ask for your insurance card and indentification card. If you do not have your indentification card, then have an id that has your name and photo and a credit/debit card that has your name listed.
  7. Bring Entertainment: Waiting for the doctor to call your name can be both boring and nerve-wrecking. It feels as if your name is never going to be called. I suggest bringing things such as: magazines, portable game consoles, and mp3 players. These things will bring you more at ease.
  8. Have a Snack In Hand: Ever had that moment that you cannot move from seat in the doctor’s office because you if you stepped out, you could risk losing your seat because you are so hungry?… Yes I’ve been there and it sucks. Have a sandwich made, along with a bottle of water orr you could bring chips along as well just in case.
  9. Ask, Ask, Ask, and Do Tell!: When you go to the doctor, and you are asked if you are having any pain, please do tell of any pain you are having! The more specific you are, the closer doctors are to helping you. Also, for pending appointments such as having a sonogram, don’t hestiate to call the office and ask questions. Ask things such as, If I am there early, will I be attended faster? Am I allowed to eat in the waiting room? Most importantly, ask what will be happening. You may think you are overly talking, but in the end, you are informing yourself, and there is nothing wrong with that.
  10. Get Those Documents!: If you are going to another doctor due to a referral, be sure to have that referral handy. In fact, if you can, have a copy ready in case you lose the original. One of the things I do is that I scan the documents to my e-mail and I case I need it, I print it up. Another thing you need to do is after seeing the doctor, request a note that you went to the see the doctor. Work places and schools need these documents.

I know going to the doctors isn’t the most joyous event to look forward to. I really hope these tips helped.

Thanks for your support in reading my blog! See you next week! ❤


It’s been a really long time since I have posted anything. I’ve just been focused on other things, like myself.

Since the last post, I’ve done things which I thought I would never have done:

  • I went to the 2011 Comic-Con Convention at the Jacob Javitis Center dressed as Minnie Mouse.
  • I finally alloted the courage to dye my hair & finally dyed it the color of my choice.

There are still many things I want to do. But I realize that things take time, but most importantly, patience.

I posted a Facebook status in December stating that I didn’t need to make any New Year’s Resolutions; I am going to continue to be myself and prosper. However, now I think about it and see that there are resolutions I have to make.

A resolution is defined as a resolve or determination. I am determined to do many things, but more importantly, I want to accomplish goals… even if nothing comes out of it, I want to say I tried.

I have accepted that I am not perfect; there is no need to live up to a pedestal that does not exist.

There is something I am doing that I find makes me so happy, I know that I will not stop anytime soon. Believe it or not… I am going back to basics….

I am doing the smallest things I used to enjoy when I was younger. For example, when I was a little girl, I used to love the Japanese program, Sailor Moon. Recently, I have bought the re-issued mangas and I am almost done reading it. As a read, the memories of the show came back to me. Memories of Sailor Moon, Tuxedo Mask, and the Sailor Guardians filled my imagination. In fact, I was engrossed with the manga, I nearly missed my stop on the train.

Another thing I am doing is listening to music I loved. I downloaded music from artists such as: Jennifer Lopez (circa 1999, 2003) & The Spice Girls. Even when I am feeling down at work, it feels good to be in my cubicle and listen to my I-pod. I find that when I am alone working, I feel better. I am learning that times, it is better to be isolated. I am enjoying my company and I am doing things that make me happy.

Going to stores such as Strand, Midtown Comics, & Forbidden Planet make my day. I feel that I am in these places, along with Greenwich Village & Astor Place, I am in my element. I don’t feel people judging me for how I look or what I am wearing. I am just like everyone else, which is one of the best feelings to have.

Of course, being with the positive people could make just about anyone smile. When I am with my family, best friends, and boyfriend, I am so happy. A couple of weeks ago, I visited my aunt and cousins who I hadn’t seen in a few months. I had such a great time; it felt good just to laugh, share some memories, and just hang out. Not every situation has to involve drama.

This year, my main goal is to keep moving, doing things that make me happy. There are certain long-term goals I want to achieve. But first, I must take the smaller steps.

Until Next Time…