myriad.

—so many thoughts are on my mind, it’s hard to focus on one concrete thought. but there is one thought that is haunting me.

i feel like i am in an absurd time warp. where are the fuck are we? this is 2017 and i feel suffocated by not only hate, but fear & anxiety as well. my grandparents emigrated from puerto rico to new york city in 1954 to have a better life. and honestly, i’m disgusted by everything that’s going on. this isn’t the land of the free.

i have to say what’s in my mind and what’s in my heart.

the recent events in charlottesville, virginia  boggle my mind- but am i surprised, no? i believe that racism never died out- neither was it never phased out. racism is a belief to me, something that is taught. and as long as people hold these ideas and spread them, it will never cease to exist. it’s a disease that spreads and attacks everything in its sight.

it is one thing to have opinions and beliefs (everyone has them, whatever)… but to spew hate and hurt people, and murder people, what the fuck is that about? if someone is mad at something or someone, write… there is no absolute need to harm anyone.

but then for our president not to acknowledge what’s going on… like what the fuck! i still can’t stay president…. nope! i can’t. i refer to him as his last name… sometimes, i had drump or call him that. everytime he has the opportunity to show some kind of empathy, some kind of leadership, he fucks it up! i don’t get it…

but let me tell you all something… and i have to say it.

i truly feel in the pits of my being that of course the president isn’t taking a firm stand or denouncing 10000% percent of these recent events. these vile people (these groups that don’t even deserve to be mentioned) are his bread and butter…simple as that! these are the people who voted for him. these are the same people who are so petty and are so angry that President Obama served two terms. i bet these vile people thought… no way in hell are they gonna win again? it’s like these people came out of the sewers like waterbugs and sewer rats. could you imagine if president… addressed these people? he knows what’s up. there goes his 2020 election. and it bothers the fuck outta me that he’s not being a leader, not the leader that we need. he’s not someone who can represent us. on the contrary, he chooses to be a twitter thug and constantly say stupid ass fuckery. he looks really foolish, a straight up buffoon. he makes me sick to my stomach.

it’s a shame that in 2017, i’m afraid to walk alone at night. that i’m afraid that i’ll be attacked in manhattan by one of these vile people. i worry for my partner, the love of my live… someone who is one of the kindest, sweetest, most intelligent people i’ve ever known. why do i worry? because he’s african-american, he will be attacked. we still get dirty looks when we walk down the street from time to time. so… a puerto-rican and an african-american can’t walk down the street together? what’s so bad about two people who love each other, expressing that love. i notice these dirty looks and it scares me.

i truly hope that things get better for all of us. we deserve to live peacefully and without threat.

ironic right? we were promised that america will be “great again” but you know what they say also, “if it’s broke, don’t fix it.”

our government needs to take a really hard look and “drain that swamp” so to speak.

—until we meet again.

 

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explore.

I was thinking of what to write about- it’s been a couple of months since I’ve posted, “coming to terms.” I definitely wanted to write something positive and uplifting.

Summer 2016 is starting and I am really excited! This is the first summer that I feel things will be even better!

I started off Summer 2016 by finally cutting my hair! I feel much more free and beautiful! My smile says it all! 🙂

StellyMemorialDayWeekend

I’ve been taking this time and have been exploring new places, but even more importantly, revisiting places that I haven’t been too in a long time.

The pictures below were taken when I went to City Island, in The Bronx, NY. My boyfriend and I went there during the Memorial Day weekend and we walked to the end of City Island and were able to capture these beautiful photos. I was grateful that the weather was beautiful and I had the time to visit.

I also wanted to visit Greenwich Village and check out the beautiful pier that overlooks into New Jersey…

A lesson that I’ve learned is that while I may not have achieved certain milestones (not yet)- I have to be grateful for what I do have- I will not move forward until I appreciate my blessings. 

I am grateful that I have my friends and family, but especially my boyfriend who has helped me become a better person and is always willingly to explore NYC with me.

These pictures were taken at Union Square & Madison Square Park, respectively.

If there is one place that will always be dear to my heart, and one place that I will never forget, that will be The Bronx. The Bronx is not only my hometown, but possesses some of my best memories.

I can’t wait to continually update #ohsnapisstelly and show all of you my work.

Until Next Time!

—Stelly