their influence.

Hey Everyone!

I wanted to wish all the awesome mothers out there a very Happy Mother’s Day!

Also, I wanted to thank all of you for your continued support! I felt the love from all of you after “from 1998 to 2015” was posted. “from 1998 to 2015” was by far the most honest, but most difficult post I have ever written and ever published. 

As most of you know, today is Mother’s Day. I was thinking of what I should blog about today especially since I haven’t published a post in awhile and of course my mind is a melting pot of ideas. It always feels as if I have a thousand ideas running through my mind at an infinite speed. The difficulty in that is deciding which idea stands out and then take that idea and stick with it. 

Well, it is only right that today I blog about both my mother and my grandmother who are by far the most important people in my life.

In case many of you do not know, my grandmother is very important to me- and even that is an understatement. I cannot go more than two days without calling her. I spent a good chunk of my life with her. Let’s just say that 20 out of 28 years I spent with my grandmother- countless weekdays, summers, and holidays. I owe a lot to my grandmother. While my mother worked to support me, my grandmother took care of me. I can honestly say that much of my beliefs come from my grandmother and her influence. Many people tease me and call me a simpleton, a Puerto Rican country girl, but that is okay- that is who I am. I do not mind spending my afternoon watching novelas and having a snack with my grandmother. I am a “grandma’s girl.” 

Three years ago, I published, “ignorantly speaking” in which I discussed the affects bullying had on me. One of the points I made was my grandmother taught me that when I look in the mirror, I am looking at myself both inside and outside; ultimately, the mirror does not lie. Therefore, if someone calls me fat, I merely say, “I have a mirror… I know who I am.” At first, I didn’t understand why my grandmother couldn’t just hug me knowing I was going through a difficult time. Then I realized that just hugging wasn’t going to make my sadness go away. In order for me to be happy with who I was, first I had to accept it. And if I wasn’t happy with myself or with any situations I was going through, it was up to me to change that, no one else. 

Life isn’t always rosy- I still face struggles… everyone does. But if I learned anything from my grandmother is that one has to be strong, no matter the circumstances one faces. 

Strength is a trait that my mother holds immensely. If one were to research the meaning of strength, my mother’s name would appear with bright bold letters. If it weren’t for my mother working overtime for months at a time, I know that I wouldn’t have had a college education, neither would my younger sister. From an early age, my mother wanted to ensure that I would have an excellent education. From the five to the age of eighteen, I was in Catholic school. I have to admit that at times, I hated it. I always had the difficult teachers, and always had the heaviest book bag; my cousins didn’t have much homework and I was envious. I did not want to spend all time doing my homework. However, looking back, I realize my mother had my best interests at heart- my mother always said she made sure that my education had strong structure; I needed the most strictest, hardest teachers. For many years, I was angry with my mother because she wasn’t able to attend my school assemblies or field trips- she was always working. It was through my mother’s hard work and determination that I was able to attend college without having student debt. 

I will never forget the day I graduated college with my BA in Creative Writing. I gave my mom my diploma and thanked her for everything. Many people do not have the privilege to attend college. I felt especially happy because when I told my mother I was going to pursue my BA in English and not in Bilingual Education as I originally had intended, my mother was supportive- she was surprised at first nonetheless, but extremely supportive. 

One of the biggest lessons I have learned from my mother was that in order to be successful, one has to work for it. Nothing comes to a person on a silver platter. While my mother told me that she would pay my way through my first four years of college- granted that my grades were high, if I wanted to pursue my Master’s, I was on my own- this was more than reasonable enough. My grandparents came from Puerto Rico and couldn’t afford to help my mom go to college. Because of her experiences growing up, my mother wanted a different future for my sister and me. Again, I was resentful and angry with my mother because she was overprotective of me- I had an early curfew and wasn’t allowed to hang out with my friends as often as I wanted… but I know it was for my best interest at heart.

To those who are reading this post and thinking that their mothers are overprotective and are unreasonable, I want you to take a second and reflect… I know what it’s like not to have those nice sneakers or clothes that is trending… but think of how hard your mother is working so that you can have a roof over your head and food on the table. I didn’t have Jordan’s or go to the movies often, but I did have shoes and sneakers. And I spent time with my mother watching movies and MTV. It’s hard to be a parent, especially a single parent. I know I wasn’t always an easy child… but that’s how all kids are! At least to me…

This Mother’s Day, reflect on the blessings your mother has given you. I am grateful for my mother and my grandmother everyday. Writing is my diary… but when things get rough, I can count on e-mailing my mother and I can count on my grandmother picking up the phone- she always finds a way to make me laugh while we gossip.

I dedicate this post to my mother and to my grandmother- always know that although I may be stubborn and it seems like I don’t listen, remember that I love you and you two are always my rock. 

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Until next time!

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