What’s The Limit?

I’m watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Part II encore as we speak. I’ve been preparing for this week’s blog, thinking what to blog about this week.

The altercation between Porsha Williams & Kenya Moore was messed up… let’s be real. It was messed up for Kenya Moore to be pushed to the ground, hair pulled in front of millions of people so to speak. But honestly, I felt even more for Porsha. She said it herself, “I’ve embarrassed myself! I let her get to me!” In fact Porsha was right, she let Kenya get to her, and in the worst way.

What happened between Porsha & Kenya happens to us in our everyday lives… how you may ask?

Ever had that one person, that “villain” who always gets under your skin? That one person who will antagonize you and instigate an argument like no other. This person can be a co-worker, boss, or even a family member. Unfortunately, I’ve had all three people serve as villains. I’ve had that “limit” that “breaking point” where things got so intense, I’ve ran away in tears; I could not help it. It was either I run away and hide in tears, or I smack someone. Personally, I’d rather run away from the situation at that moment than smack someone in the face and regret it, but also deal with the consequences.

I cannot imagine what was going on in Porsha’s mind. All the things she has been going through: her divorce, things people say online, and someone antagonizing her… of course she exploded! I believe it when she told Bravo Host Andy Cohen that she “just blacked out.” Yes when someone is that angry, that happens; I’ve been there! I feel that Porsha had no time to cool down, to “run away” from the situation and that’s why she exploded.

I was thinking of what I’ve been through, of the situations that my loved ones have been through, and I’ve thought of ways that maybe situations like those could be prevented in the future:

  • Talk To Someone: When things get rocky for me, I talk to people who I trust. I speak to my grandmother and my mother and ask them for advice. Even if I may not like what they say, it feels good just to vent. I know my mother and grandmother have lots of life experiences and I trust their opinions. I also speak to my best friends and my boyfriend because I know they have my back and they always provide a fresh prospective.
  • Social Media Filter: I’m guilty of this, but venting on social media isn’t always the best thing, especially when the person who you are feeling a certain way  is following you on facebook, twitter, instagram, etc. Try very hard not to compose posts directed at them. If there are people whose posts are bothering you that badly, facebook has the “unfollow” option which I will tell you, saved me from being utterly annoyed tonight.
  • Talking It Out: If you feel that you have to talk it out, then maybe you should confront that person. I believe that one prospers more with sugar than with vinegar. Approach the person… go get a cup of coffee, not liquor as it could cause things to further escalate. Be forthright and convey to the person why you are feeling this way and how the situation could be fixed. If the relationship cannot be salvaged, then there’s definitely that option of not having to be around each other or if it’s a family matter, agree to be cordial and move on.
  • Block &/Or Unfriend: Sometimes, blocking and unfriending is the best option. There are those who we can’t be friends with and we’re probably not meant to be friends with. My mother tells me all the time… not everything nor everyone is important. Being an outgoing person, that’s a hard adage to follow. I always want to talk to people and be friends with them. But also I had to realize who is really my friend and who will really have my back. Unfortunately, I’m not friends with some people anymore, but it’s best that way. I’ve found that by not speaking with certain people, I’m definitely less stressed out. I don’t need to unnecessary stress in my life.

 

I’d like to think that we are all the protagonists whose lives serve as the plot of our story. It is up to us to determine which characters will be in our plots and also their degree of importance. What’s most important is that we learn from our mistakes and from those around us. It’s those life decisions that serve as lessons.

 

Until next week!

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what change?

Yesterday, my boyfriend and I went to Chinatown for the first time together. For me, it was the first time in over eight years that I had been there.

My boyfriend and I took the 6 train downtown to Canal Street. We walked through Chinatown and I could not help but to take pictures of what was around me. There were lots of souvenirs, phone cases, t-shirts, apple accessories. The aroma was fresh, a mix of seafood and fruit. I had to walk over and explore the various seafood around me. I could not believe it, some had lobster 3 for $39 & $6.95 for a pound of shrimp, which is insanely cheap to me. We tried bubble tea at the Maid Cafe. I loved my passion fruit tea.

After walking to various little shops, we turned left and right and ended up walking through a court area. There was a detention center where there was a bail bonds across the street. Up until that point, I didn’t know this existed in Chinatown. Maybe Chinatown didn’t change so much in 8 years, as I previously thought; I just wasn’t as observant. The reason I thought Chinatown changed was because I saw more shops the first time. This time around, I saw a couple of Dunkin Dounts, a Burger King, and even a Popeyes. I never thought that I would see that in Chinatown. I guess I’m being one-dimensional and ignorant so to speak. My boyfriend bought up a great point, something so obvious… he said, “Estelle, people change, things change, times change.” I just let that thought sink in… oh that “wicked” word CHANGE. He’s right…People change, places change, relationships change. Change is something that I am definitely NOT used to.

Walking through Chinatown, I did see somethings that I reminded me of my childhood and of the things that my cousins and me saw in the store fronts. I saw the green and yellow toy frogs in the plastic bucket swimming in the dirty water, toy dolls with tangled hair singing and moving out loud; I even saw little live turtles moving in their plastic boxes, the same ones my mom still won’t buy because she says they carry disease. It’s crazy how a couple of hours could bring back years of memories. I started to remember my family and the Saturdays we spent together in Third Avenue. I used to hate waking up Saturday morning and having to walk the same stretch of a few blocks to shop at Conway, Youngland, Bunnies, Cookies, Victorias, and the notorious Conway , C&C Department Store, and Ray Store. Now I’m 27 years old and I miss those days; those days where I saw my immediate family on the constant basis. Life is easier, drama minimal. But like my boyfriend says, people change, times change.

Now I am working on building my own memories. It doesn’t hurt to think of the good times, but what makes it hurt is if we make those past memories our world and don’t seek to build new ones.

And that is exactly what I’m doing. Exploring what is around me and making awesome new memories!

Here are some of the pics from yesterday’s adventure in Chinatown. Till next time!

Thank you for reading and for your support!

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WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE IN LOVE?

This is a great list of how one feels when he/she is in love… I can definitely tell all of you that this is definitely true!

ANAMI BLOG

marie claire, barbara palvin, love, david bellemere, kama sutra Source Pinterest

Love supposed to be the most powerful spiritual experience that most of us will have in our lifetimes. So, what does it feel like? How does it change us? According to the Kama Sutra some of the answers are the following:

  • You feel accepted and understood.
  • You feel more complete, as if an invisible presence is filling you up.
  • You imagine that you can do anything – life is suddenly open to all possibilities.
  • You experience ecstasy in ordinary things: a glance, the touch of a hand, light falling on your beloved’s face.
  • Your self is expanded far beyond the petty limitations that were so confining before you fell in love.

There are many more shifts in awareness that lovers experience, and these are not at all limited “just” for the lovers. It applies to love in general, when you love your life, your family, but most importantly…

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the 90s kids.

For my extra blog post this week, I thought that I would do something different and post a poem. I haven’t written a poem since I was an undergrad; I hope you all enjoy. 

 

The 90s Kids

Who am I? I’m the 90’s kid.

I am the kid who would wake up at 6:30 AM to watch Sailor Moon on Cartoon Network.

I am the kid who put on her tight brown and white plaid jumper everyday for school, who would have to go to class before 8:40 in order not to be late.

I am the kid who watched Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and pretended to be Rita in the school yard during recess.

I am the kid who loved Barney and swore he was my best friend. Lamb Chop, Hush Puppy, and Charlie Horse were my friends and Sherri Lewis was their awesome mom.

I am the kid who cherished Lisa Frank and the Yikes pencils when my mom bought them for me; I swore I was the coolest girl.

I am the kid who used her allowance to buy the first Spice Girls album and the first Emimen LP, Slim Shady.

I am the kid who broke my mother’s cd walkman every few months because my Jansport would crush it.

I am the kid who watched Snick every Saturday night and wanted to hang out with the cast of All That.

I am the kid who dreamed that I would find my own Dawson Leery and swore Felicity was my long-lost older sister. 

I am the kid who could not wait to grow up.

It’s not the 90s anymore. Twenty-four years have went.

I am the 90s kid in the new generation.

The 90s will forever reign. 

different disney perspective.

As everyone knows, I am a Disney princess fanatic! From as far as I can remember, I’ve always loved Disney movies, especially those pertaining to fairy tales. 

I especially became excited when Jewel Moore, a plus-size teenager from Virginia, made a petition on change.org to The Walt Disney Company to create a plus-size Disney Princess character. I believe that is about time a plus-size Disney princess character is created. I feel that Disney should have a character that we can all relate to especially physically.

I was too young to notice that these Disney Princesses were thinner than me; all I cared about were the songs and the love story. But over 20 years later, times are definitely different. Let’s get real… we live in an extremely shallow society where different isn’t always embraced nicely and where children and teens are bullied beyond the playground. 

What doesn’t make sense to me is that if the average size of Americans is a size 14, then why is a big deal if there is a plus-size Disney princess? It’s true that children are impressionable and are influenced easily… they’re children; that’s how it is! If a child watches a Disney movie where the protagonist is heavier, does that mean the child will want to gain weight? These are some of the concerns that parents may have. If this is the case, then it is up to the parent or guardian to explain to their children that the movie is fiction; it is simply not real. 

Why are some of the reasons Disney won’t create a plus-size Disney princess? Besides the point I just established, I feel that there will be controversy. For example, there is the possibility that one will bring up the issue that if there is a plus-size Disney princess, then what kind of Disney princesses will there be? Will there be a lesbian Disney princess next? What kind of envelopes will be pushed next? While it does not seem to be a big deal, people tend to look at some works in between the lines.

Frozen, a Walt Disney picture film, released in 2013 focuses on two sisters, Elsa and Anna and their relationship. I will not give the movie away, but what some have accused the film of having lesbian undertones. Honestly, how disgusting is that? I have two younger sisters that I love very much. Why is it that sisterly love cannot be just that? That’s really disturbing to me.

There are issues that I feel that Disney can tackle. Why can’t be there be a plus-size Disney princess who is bullied? Or a princess who is dying of a terminal illness and sets out on a journey to find the cure? Disney fairy tale movies are known for the following: Princess has a villain who is real hater, meets the man of her dreams, has to tackle a challenge to get what she wants. I believe that The Walt Disney Company does not understand the concept that time has changed. While Frozen strayed from the formula a great deal, a lot can still be done. 

It is just not fair that a young girl who is more overweight feels that there is no one who she can relate to. There needs to be more in the media that all girls can relate to. 

I would like to know what you think… Do you think Disney should create a plus-size princess? Why or why not? And also, if Disney were to create new characters, which should Disney create? I’d love to read your thoughts.

Thanks again for your support in reading my blog. Until next time!

Also, below is the link to Jewel Moore’s petition, in case you were interested in seeking additional information.

http://www.change.org/petitions/the-walt-disney-company-make-plus-size-princesses-in-disney-movies

 

oh snap, it’s been over a year!

Hey Everyone! 

Happy Belated 2014… as you can see, it’s been over a year since I posted my last blog. Honestly, I let so many things stop me from doing what I wanted, it’s unbelievable! And the thing is that it was ALL me! I can’t blame anyone else for what obstacles I put myself through. I let my fears and insecurities stop me from doing a lot of things, especially writing. Something just died in me; I became a different person. I cannot quite explain it as I feel like it was a deep sleep. 

Recently, I was thinking about my “funk” and what I could do to fix it. Literally, I heard a click in my mind and I thought about this notion… after I graduated from college, which was back in May 2010. I thought that life would fall into place, like one of those “becoming of age” movies. In the end of this movie, all my conflicts would be resolved and all loose ends would be tied. There would be no more problems. All great ideas and solutions would be in the palm of my hands, preferably left. I would have found the perfect man, moved into my fabulous, well-furnished West Village apartment- everything would be perfect. However, things became the exact opposite. I became so frustrated with life that I just stopped doing the very hobbies that made me happy: going on long walks, reading, just to name a few. 

I decided that by doing the very things that made me happy would make me become the person that I once was and much more. I’ve started to re-connect with friends that I haven’t seen in a really long time; I can’t make up for the past but I am creating a more positive future. I’ve also decided to distance myself from some people and their negative attitudes. The following adage is valid, “In saying no to others, you are saying yes to yourself.” As hard as it is to say no to others for fear that they’re going to talk about you or not continue to be your friends, it’s mandatory that you put yourself first. I think of it this way, whoever is really there for me will stick around for the whole journey, not when it is merely convenient. In saying yes to people almost 99.9% of the time, I lost myself. Becoming consumed with work, going home, going to sleep…. and doing NOTHING in between. This routine felt recycled, repetitive and was and is definitely not for me. 

Right now, I am focusing on myself and doing what’s right. I am writing more. For the first ever, I’ve finished a journal. I will have some stories and poems that I will share with you all. I hope to have my pieces published; that’s my main goal.

I also want to do something called, “The 90’s Box.” It is a project where I am going to collect 90’s memorabilia and write about its significance.

I look forward to sharing my new materials with you all and I hope you enjoy reading my work as much as I enjoy writing and sharing my work.

 

Until next time!