angry mind.

Feelings as of late: mind is a blender of thoughts, all assorted. The visual I have of my mind is coleslaw. It’s hard to sort through thoughts. But when it accumlates, I just wanna avoid it althogether.

When new opportunities arise, one wants more. I believe that is human nature. Also, one wants to achieve the seemingly impossible. But when faced, it becomes hard and fear is what motivates nothing to happen.

Those are just a few thoughts. Anger is controlling me right now. Bitterness of what would have been my five-year anniversary with my ex. Also feeling low and unaccomplished with oneself and just keeping bitter feeling of others are definitely not helping. One thing I have realized is that holding onto these feelings will maim me. It will toxify my life and I will have no one to blame but myself.

I read that one way to control anger is to forgive. However, what is forgiveness when it is from the heart? I am not goin to forgive just because. If anything, it causes more damage. Supressing the pain will only cause a domino effect of misery.