mind of mesh, mind of matter.

Hey Everyone,

I hope you all have been having a great Fall 2014 season. I can’t believe that 2014 is almost over! It seems like 2014 just started…

It’s funny… my grandmother used to tell me as a kid to cherish my youth because as I get older, time will pass and I will wake up wondering WTF happened?!? Years later, I hate to admit it, but my grandmother was right.

2014 just few by to me, but I must say that I accomplished so much during this year, especially in the past couple of months, I can’t believe it!

Since the last post, I have been attending the NYU School of Professional Studies. Currently, I am taking a Grammar Intensive Class which will end in a couple of weeks; this is one of the classes I need in order to obtain a Certification of Editing. As a teenager, I dreamed of going to NYU. However, I could not attend as an undergrad because I did not have the financial means. NYU seemed so close, but so far away! Although I have my Bachelor of the Arts from the City College of CUNY, NYU always remained in the back of my mind.

It wasn’t until the summer that I decided to sign up for the class and pursue the certification. Now you may be wondering why I waited for so long? Well, I will tell you one thing… education could be very expensive! I was afraid that I couldn’t afford it. I decided that in order to sign up for the class, I had to sacrifice something- in this case it was money and a weekday of my time. I spent extra hours at work and did not hang out as often with my friends.

At first, going back to school was an adjustment. I had not been in a classroom since August 2009! I was nervous… I walked into NYU with my face sweaty and flustered and my stomach in knots. That feeling is the best in the world! I had a happiness surging through me! It’s amazing the effect one class and one institution can have on someone. Finally, my dream was coming true!

I’m not gonna lie, it’s been hard to juggle the things that have been going my way. I know that I cannot give up on my education, becoming successful, and more importantly, my writing.

At some point in our lives, we struggle with fear. Fear is one of those emotions that we cannot be without. Like it or not, fear is present in our everyday lives. The key to dealing with fear is not feed it. It’s easier said than done.

I was watching the film Matilda the other day and Matilda (Mara Wilson) tells Ms. Honey (Embeth Davidtz) , “I thought grown- ups were never afraid.” Watching my mother and my grandmother growing up, I thought parents were never afraid. Looking back, I know that my mom wanted to convey to my sister and me that no matter what happened in life, life does not stop for anyone. In order to move forward, one must put their fears aside, and live.

Day by day, I am making a life for myself. Fear is being afraid to do good, being afraid to do bad. Be it as it may, when one is afraid, nothing is being done. I’d rather try, try, and try again than not trying and wondering what if. I distain wondering what if.

I’m looking forward to finishing my first class at NYU and continuing with my certification. When I begin to lose patience with the world surrounding me, I remember the fact that I have a great family, a roof over my head, a partner who cares for me, and my health. I have more than what many people have- it’s hard to see that in our hardest times.

Right now, my mind feels like mesh- there are so many things going on, but I wouldn’t change my life for anything. It’s through our life lessons that we become better people.

I’m looking forward to sharing with all of you my new posts!

Until next time!

—Stelly

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