I hope the summer has been kind to all of you as it has been to me. This summer has been great for the most part; I have spent time with my friends, family, and boyfriend. In fact, my boyfriend and I celebrated our 3rd year anniversary by taking a mini-vacation to Atlantic City and also by seeing Aladdin on Broadway.
I made a list of goals to achieve by the end of the summer. Although I may not achieve all of the goals by the end of the summer, there is a greater lesson that I am learning. This lesson is to let go and just live. I took some time and reflected; honestly, I knew that things had to change. I sat back and thought to myself, “What am I doing?” I knew that I could do much better in many aspects. The problem with this thought and reflection is that by putting myself through this unnecessary guilt, I am not living. I am literally sitting there, wondering what I could have done, instead of bettering myself in the process.
I read a quote on Instagram that really spoke to me, “I stopped looking for the light. I decided to become it instead.” To me, the quote means I stopped looking for a way out, a solution to the problem. The solution to my life’s issues lies within myself. And I am determined to succeed and prosper.
Summer 2014 has a deeper meaning for me for another reason. August 8th marked the 20th anniversary of my grandfather’s passing. There isn’t a day where I don’t think about him. My grandfather was truly a gem in my world, a symbol of fatherly love at its finest. When he passed away, I felt a part of myself die as well, even at seven years old. Overtime, I grew not to trust many people, out of fear that they would leave. Would someone leave just because I trusted them, or would they leave because they didn’t like me; these were some of the questions I asked myself on a constant basis.
However, it was not until I met my boyfriend that I grew to love and trust. And I thank him everyday for coming into my life and helping me become a better person.
I made a goal to live- I want to do things that I have never done before, that both excite me and scare me. And this is exactly what I have been doing. When Tyrone and I went to Atlantic City, there was a sense of tranquility and happiness that I had never possessed up until that moment. Going to Coney Island, being with my friends, spending more time with my loved ones… this is what living is about.
Now we are in August- this is known as the Sunday of summer. I want to spend the rest of my summer doing what I love to do most- writing and being with my loved ones, exploring new and exciting places in New York City.
I hope that you all are doing what makes you happiest. We all deserve the chance to be happy and to smile.
Thank you for your support and for reading.
Until next time!