leading.

I’ve been reading an awesome book lately that I just can’t put down! It’s called, Happy @ Work by Jim Donovan. In his book, Donovan lists 60 ways in which we can all be happy at work, despite whatever challenges we are facing. Currently, I am at number 38.

I was thinking of what to discuss about on my blog when I thought of a quote that I posted on Facebook last night, There’s an immense difference with wanting to be a leader & wanting to be a boss. Decide which is more prosperous.In reading the book, I’ve come to realize that over the course of my career, both academic and professionally, I’ve encountered people who are more concerned with being bosses and not being leaders.

First off, one may think that leaders and bosses are one in the same. I’m not going to lie, I believed that. I always thought a boss was supposed to be a leader. However, that’s not the case.

I believe a leader is someone who helps their employees, their associates succeed, and most importantly, their company succeed. We are all supposed to work complete our daily tasks, that’s what work is. But a leader will show their employees how to complete the task. Recently, I encountered a few challenges at work; I was hesitant to talk to my supervisors out of fear. Like who wants to tell their boss they messed up, like come on! I was afraid of getting yelled at. But then I knew that by communicating with my bosses what was going on, they were going to help me. My supervisors took a few moments to show me how to correct the mistake so I won’t make the mistake the second time.

Although my supervisors helped me at that moment, there were moments where people of authority were mean- there’s no other way of saying it. Instead of helping others, these people would yell and not help at all. Honestly, it is really frustrating to see meanness in any level. Ultimately, we all want to succeed and prosper. In reality, there are people out there who love to see others suffer and not do anything with them.

From experience with certain people in my life, I’ve learned that those who are mean and are seemingly heartless have an immense chip on their shoulder that would take a crane to remove. Many people conceal their pain and insecurities in many ways, one of which includes lashing out on others. I believe that if we all communicated with others, especially at the toughest moments, there would be much more tranquility and peace.

But let’s face it… would we really take the time and explore other’s feelings if we knew how it would benefit us? Leaders do just that… they sense when their employees are in a rut or are “feeling somekinda way” and try to help and lending hand.

Now why some people don’t want to lead but want to boss? It’s very simple… If I am the smartest girl in my class and I tutor someone who is struggling in a certain subject, I would not spill my study tips; there’s a chance that student will have higher grades than me. I have tutored people in the past, without hesitation. The best thing one can do is learn every day. Even though I may teach someone something new, I am actually learning something new as well. I am learning how to teach someone and what limits I have. Teaching people how to do things requires a lot of patience, something I don’t have sometimes, but it’s through teaching people I learn to become more patient.

One of my life’s goals is to lead people to do well. Recently, I saw a high school friend who I was great friends with; in fact, she was my “little sister.” To hear her say years later that I inspired her to study English in college struck a chord in me. The best thing I can do for other people is share my stories and beliefs with people with the hope that something is learned. I know that although I may not psychically have lots of money, at least I know there are people who see me as a leader.

This brings me to the question… Do you guys think there’s a difference between a leader and a boss? If not, then does a leader have to boss people around for things to get done? I’d love to know your opinions!

Until next time!

 

—Stelly

 

what change?

Yesterday, my boyfriend and I went to Chinatown for the first time together. For me, it was the first time in over eight years that I had been there.

My boyfriend and I took the 6 train downtown to Canal Street. We walked through Chinatown and I could not help but to take pictures of what was around me. There were lots of souvenirs, phone cases, t-shirts, apple accessories. The aroma was fresh, a mix of seafood and fruit. I had to walk over and explore the various seafood around me. I could not believe it, some had lobster 3 for $39 & $6.95 for a pound of shrimp, which is insanely cheap to me. We tried bubble tea at the Maid Cafe. I loved my passion fruit tea.

After walking to various little shops, we turned left and right and ended up walking through a court area. There was a detention center where there was a bail bonds across the street. Up until that point, I didn’t know this existed in Chinatown. Maybe Chinatown didn’t change so much in 8 years, as I previously thought; I just wasn’t as observant. The reason I thought Chinatown changed was because I saw more shops the first time. This time around, I saw a couple of Dunkin Dounts, a Burger King, and even a Popeyes. I never thought that I would see that in Chinatown. I guess I’m being one-dimensional and ignorant so to speak. My boyfriend bought up a great point, something so obvious… he said, “Estelle, people change, things change, times change.” I just let that thought sink in… oh that “wicked” word CHANGE. He’s right…People change, places change, relationships change. Change is something that I am definitely NOT used to.

Walking through Chinatown, I did see somethings that I reminded me of my childhood and of the things that my cousins and me saw in the store fronts. I saw the green and yellow toy frogs in the plastic bucket swimming in the dirty water, toy dolls with tangled hair singing and moving out loud; I even saw little live turtles moving in their plastic boxes, the same ones my mom still won’t buy because she says they carry disease. It’s crazy how a couple of hours could bring back years of memories. I started to remember my family and the Saturdays we spent together in Third Avenue. I used to hate waking up Saturday morning and having to walk the same stretch of a few blocks to shop at Conway, Youngland, Bunnies, Cookies, Victorias, and the notorious Conway , C&C Department Store, and Ray Store. Now I’m 27 years old and I miss those days; those days where I saw my immediate family on the constant basis. Life is easier, drama minimal. But like my boyfriend says, people change, times change.

Now I am working on building my own memories. It doesn’t hurt to think of the good times, but what makes it hurt is if we make those past memories our world and don’t seek to build new ones.

And that is exactly what I’m doing. Exploring what is around me and making awesome new memories!

Here are some of the pics from yesterday’s adventure in Chinatown. Till next time!

Thank you for reading and for your support!

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the 90s kids.

For my extra blog post this week, I thought that I would do something different and post a poem. I haven’t written a poem since I was an undergrad; I hope you all enjoy. 

 

The 90s Kids

Who am I? I’m the 90’s kid.

I am the kid who would wake up at 6:30 AM to watch Sailor Moon on Cartoon Network.

I am the kid who put on her tight brown and white plaid jumper everyday for school, who would have to go to class before 8:40 in order not to be late.

I am the kid who watched Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and pretended to be Rita in the school yard during recess.

I am the kid who loved Barney and swore he was my best friend. Lamb Chop, Hush Puppy, and Charlie Horse were my friends and Sherri Lewis was their awesome mom.

I am the kid who cherished Lisa Frank and the Yikes pencils when my mom bought them for me; I swore I was the coolest girl.

I am the kid who used her allowance to buy the first Spice Girls album and the first Emimen LP, Slim Shady.

I am the kid who broke my mother’s cd walkman every few months because my Jansport would crush it.

I am the kid who watched Snick every Saturday night and wanted to hang out with the cast of All That.

I am the kid who dreamed that I would find my own Dawson Leery and swore Felicity was my long-lost older sister. 

I am the kid who could not wait to grow up.

It’s not the 90s anymore. Twenty-four years have went.

I am the 90s kid in the new generation.

The 90s will forever reign.