frozen breakdown.

About two weeks ago, Mayim Bialik, star of “Blossom” and “The Big Bang Theory” posted on her blog, “Why My Sons And I Hate The Movie Frozen.” Off the bat, I knew that I had to check out the post. Right away, I disagreed with some of her opinions. Now that doesn’t make me dislike her as a person. Number one, I don’t even know her… and it’s her opinions… who am I to judge? However, today’s post serves to answer the top critiques she had of the movie. The following headings are taken from the three critiques she had regarding “Frozen.”

1. Plot: For as long as I can remember, the main storyline of 95% of all Disney fairytale animated movies has the plot of a princess and prince falling in love and having that “happily ever after” at the end of the movie, despite not knowing each other well. If the plot is being criticized for Frozen, then maybe all romantic comedy plots should be criticized as well. There’s always that element of two people falling in love. Guy meets girl; they fall in love; some drama tears them apart. Then the drama is resolved and everyone lives happily ever after. “Frozen” does not have the typical plot. I apologize for giving away the plot of the movie for those who haven’t seen it… Basically, Elsa and Anna are sisters who are very close until Elsa hurts Anna accidentally.  Growing up, Anna doesn’t feel loved which leads to her “falling in love” with the first person who gives her attention. I don’t know about you, but I can relate to Anna. And I believe that a lot of people can relate to her too. How many people do we know who meet someone and within the first month, proclaim their love on social media?

2. Male Bashing: Another critique Mayim stated was the fact that Prince Hans was male bashed after his true intentions are revealed. I can see where she is coming from in terms of maybe the movie should have been a little longer so the climax and the ending could have been carried out more eloquently. But from the perspective as a viewer, Prince Hans turning out to be a villain was just a grand, dramatic plot twist. What we have to remember is the fact that Frozen is geared for children. There is only so much of a plot Disney can fit into a couple of hours.  Also, we have all known people from all walks of life who were deceptive and wanted things for their own gain so this is not surprising.

3. Women As Dolls: Unlike other Disney movies, Elsa and Anna were drawn/animated differently than other Disney princess. Considering that we are in 2014, and technology in animation has advanced, I think it was a given that Elsa and Anna were going to look more life-like and more like women. My colleague also critique Elsa’s appearance after her transformation… all I can say is that Elsa is a twenty-one year woman… so at one point or another, she is going to show curves and have a more revealing outfit. When Elsa is singing, “Let It Go,” she is literally letting go off all her inhibitions and insecurities. Having her hair tied up and having all those layers of clothing shows the audience that she is not only concealing her natural-born powers. Throughout her whole life, Elsa concealed the person she was; she did not want anyone to see the person she really was and Elsa’s parents did not want her exposing herself, out of fear that she would hurt others. I’m sure you felt like that at one point or another. I was sheltered as a child growing up, so simple things like taking the subway and having an extended curfew were immense tastes of freedom and it was overwhelming at times.

At the end of the day, we all have our opinions and thoughts regarding certain topics and events and this is okay. We can all learn something from each other as long as we keep our minds and our ears open.

I hope you all enjoyed today’s blog.

Till next time…

—Stelly

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goodbye summer.

As Fall 2014 officially begins September 22, 2014, I am saying my official goodbye to summer. I am three weeks early, but who is counting?

Summer 2014 bought many memories and lessons that I will never forget. My favorite moments were from going to Atlantic City with my boyfriend to going to Spa Castle with my best friend and spending time with my family. There were some down times too… as i’m composing this post, I am still sick from Asthmatic Bronchitis which sucks! Although i’m not yet 100%, that is not going to keep me from writing.

Here are some of the lessons I learned during Summer 2014:

1. Always Make Time For What You Love: This summer, I decided that I will have as much fun as I can. If that meant not seeing certain people or leaving work at exactly 5:30 PM, then let it so be it. One of the worse things I believe I can do is just let time go by. I’m definitely not into the whole wake up, go to work, go back home routine. That’s just not me. I need time with my friends, time with myself. I spent a lot of time in Union Square (my favorite place in the world!), walking in the park, and buying the best organic chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies! I haven’t done that in years! The best feeling was writing in my journal, soaking in the sun and getting that awesome tan!

2. Be With Your Friends: As much as I love my boyfriend, I had to spend time with my friends too! My girlfriends are the sisters I am never going to have. They mean the world to me! Even if I saw them for a couple of hours, that made me really happy. I’m happy I got to go to many places with them this summer. We went from China Town, to Central Park, to the Frying Pan restaurant and the Dairy Queen. I have to say this… if it weren’t for my friends, I wouldn’t have discovered BOKA. BOKA is a kickass restaurant in St. Marks (near Astor Place), downtown NY. They make the best Korean fried chicken I’ve ever had! And their vegetable fried rice is divine! It’s a great feeling to know that when things get rough, I know I can count on my friends. We all talk and bs and have fun!

3. Leave The Drama: We all have things going on in our lives. With that being said, I do not have the time nor the patience to deal with pettiness and drama. Unfortunately, I’m not talking to some people at the moment. It is not because I don’t love them. I do 100%… it is because there are so many Facebook statuses and gossips I can deal with. I’ve been doing so many great things this year and I don’t need people to spoil that for me. So rather than stress these people, i would rather not deal with them right now. 

4. Celebrate & Speak Up!My favorite moment of this summer was celebrating my third year anniversary with my boyfriend in Atlantic City, NJ. At first, I was hesitant because I knew work was going to be chaotic and I thought it would be really expensive. But let me tell you something, by planning over a month ahead of time, my boyfriend and I got a really good deal through Groupon. I spent a little extra time at work so I could have my commitments done. When it comes to you and your happiness, you cannot be afraid to speak up and ask for vacation time. After all, it’s yours to use! 

I cannot wait for what Fall 2014 has to offer. I’m looking forward to walking in the city with just a sweater and a mint hot chocolate in hand. 

I hope you all have had a great summer!

Till next time!

—Stelly 

P.S.: Here are some of my favorite pics that I took throughout the summer. Enjoy!

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Mental Illness Knows No Boundaries.

The Grand Optimist

“You are only given a little spark of madness. You musn’t lose it.”

– Robin Williams

Recently the news  broke that Robin Williams had been found dead from a suspected suicide. An amazingly talented man who like many of us, struggled with depression and addiction. Not only has this devastated his family and friends, but the whole world has felt this loss. I think the hardest part to comprehend is that how can someone so funny and what seemed to be so full of life kill themselves? His movies were a massive part of my childhood. Mrs Doubtfire reminds me of my dad and my brothers and is still one of my favourites  It just goes to show that mental illness does not discriminate and that you can have all the money and fame in the and it doesn’t bring happiness.  I think it just goes to show that people may be…

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feel, don’t conceal.

Like many people, I was stunned to find out that Robin Williams passed away on Monday, August 11, 2014. I was at Madison Square Park with my boyfriend when I read the news on Facebook. My stomach turned and I began to feel nauseous. I couldn’t believe it. Robin Williams was gone; he committed suicide. Williams reminded me of the awesome uncle everyone loved and the father everyone wanted to have. I remember watching Mrs. Doubtfire at seven years old; I wanted a father like him.

So I’m on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram reading people’s comments regarding Robin Williams’ passing. Many people expressed their sympathy to his family. But I couldn’t help but notice and read some of the heartless, mean, and cruel comments others posted. What bothered me the most was that some called Williams a coward. I couldn’t believe that! Like how dare they? Of course Robin Williams never knew me, but I felt some need to defend him.

Robin Williams is a coward because he committed suicide?!? That has to be one of the most insensitive, stupidest comments I have ever read! Who knows what was playing through Williams’ minds at those final moments. When I think about it, I feel that he felt he had no recourse, no other way to escape.

Williams’ struggled with depression and drug/alcohol abuse throughout his life. I can’t imagine being in his shoes. To have to perform for thousands of people and make movies where I know people are going to judge me no matter what… I don’t think that I would have been able to handle that kind of burden. Williams’ appeared to be happy in front of the camera, but his smile concealed so much more.

I am not a Hollywood starlet, but to some extent, I can relate to Williams’ struggle. There were periods in my life where getting out of bed was a challenge. I would just stare at the ceiling, feeling hopeless, not looking forward to anything in life. I know most of my struggles came from being bullied and teased as a child and in my early teens. People say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” But guess what…words really do hurt! When people called me fat, ugly, blubber, flubber, fat thing… that hurt! I hated going to school… I hated anything that had to do with physical activity. That hatred and bitterness carried over for years, even into my adulthood.

I became so bitter and angry at everything around me, I knew it was time to get counseling. I hung out with my friends and family, but I wasn’t happy. I smiled, but it masked my sadness. It was hard admitting that I had negative feelings and that I needed help. To carry the negative feelings seemed much easier than telling someone how I felt. I thought that by telling someone my feelings and struggles, that person would pretend to help me and then judge me behind my back. I knew that in order to accept help, I had to open my heart, but more importantly, I had to trust- that was the most challenging part. I don’t regret going out of my comfort zone and getting counseling; it is one of the best decisions I have ever made.

If you or someone you know is depressed and struggling, please do not be afraid to seek help. You are not a coward if you seek help; you will be saving your life and will be making yourself healthier and stronger in the process.

I dedicate this post to Robin Williams. Thank you for making me laugh and smile. You will always be Genie.

 

Until Next Time…

 

—Stelly

 

atlantic city sky.

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I took this picture with my I-phone while I was at Atlantic City with my boyfriend. We were at the beach and it wasn’t too hot, but definitely far from chilly. We laid in the sand, jumped with the waves and talked.

At that moment, I was just me. And we were two people, a loving a couple spending their first vacation together. The sky looked so beautiful, so peaceful… l had to capture a picture that can almost show how happy we were.  

sundays of summer.

Hello Everyone!

I hope the summer has been kind to all of you as it has been to me. This summer has been great for the most part; I have spent time with my friends, family, and boyfriend. In fact, my boyfriend and I celebrated our 3rd year anniversary by taking a mini-vacation to Atlantic City and also by seeing Aladdin on Broadway.

I made a list of goals to achieve by the end of the summer. Although I may not achieve all of the goals by the end of the summer, there is a greater lesson that I am learning. This lesson is to let go and just live. I took some time and reflected; honestly, I knew that things had to change. I sat back and thought to myself, “What am I doing?” I knew that I could do much better in many aspects. The problem with this thought and reflection is that by putting myself through this unnecessary guilt, I am not living. I am literally sitting there, wondering what I could have done, instead of bettering myself in the process.

I read a quote on Instagram that really spoke to me, “I stopped looking for the light. I decided to become it instead.” To me, the quote means I stopped looking for a way out, a solution to the problem. The solution to my life’s issues lies within myself. And I am determined to succeed and prosper.

Summer 2014 has a deeper meaning for me for another reason. August 8th marked the 20th anniversary of my grandfather’s passing. There isn’t a day where I don’t think about him. My grandfather was truly a gem in my world, a symbol of fatherly love at its finest. When he passed away, I felt a part of myself die as well, even at seven years old. Overtime, I grew not to trust many people, out of fear that they would leave. Would someone leave just because I trusted them, or would they leave because they didn’t like me; these were some of the questions I asked myself on a constant basis.

However, it was not until I met my boyfriend that I grew to love and trust. And I thank him everyday for coming into my life and helping me become a better person.

I made a goal to live- I want to do things that I have never done before, that both excite me and scare me. And this is exactly what I have been doing. When Tyrone and I went to Atlantic City, there was a sense of tranquility and happiness that I had never possessed up until that moment. Going to Coney Island, being with my friends, spending more time with my loved ones… this is what living is about.

Now we are in August- this is known as the Sunday of summer. I want to spend the rest of my summer doing what I love to do most- writing and being with my loved ones, exploring new and exciting places in New York City.

I hope that you all are doing what makes you happiest. We all deserve the chance to be happy and to smile.

Thank you for your support and for reading.

Until next time!

leading.

I’ve been reading an awesome book lately that I just can’t put down! It’s called, Happy @ Work by Jim Donovan. In his book, Donovan lists 60 ways in which we can all be happy at work, despite whatever challenges we are facing. Currently, I am at number 38.

I was thinking of what to discuss about on my blog when I thought of a quote that I posted on Facebook last night, There’s an immense difference with wanting to be a leader & wanting to be a boss. Decide which is more prosperous.In reading the book, I’ve come to realize that over the course of my career, both academic and professionally, I’ve encountered people who are more concerned with being bosses and not being leaders.

First off, one may think that leaders and bosses are one in the same. I’m not going to lie, I believed that. I always thought a boss was supposed to be a leader. However, that’s not the case.

I believe a leader is someone who helps their employees, their associates succeed, and most importantly, their company succeed. We are all supposed to work complete our daily tasks, that’s what work is. But a leader will show their employees how to complete the task. Recently, I encountered a few challenges at work; I was hesitant to talk to my supervisors out of fear. Like who wants to tell their boss they messed up, like come on! I was afraid of getting yelled at. But then I knew that by communicating with my bosses what was going on, they were going to help me. My supervisors took a few moments to show me how to correct the mistake so I won’t make the mistake the second time.

Although my supervisors helped me at that moment, there were moments where people of authority were mean- there’s no other way of saying it. Instead of helping others, these people would yell and not help at all. Honestly, it is really frustrating to see meanness in any level. Ultimately, we all want to succeed and prosper. In reality, there are people out there who love to see others suffer and not do anything with them.

From experience with certain people in my life, I’ve learned that those who are mean and are seemingly heartless have an immense chip on their shoulder that would take a crane to remove. Many people conceal their pain and insecurities in many ways, one of which includes lashing out on others. I believe that if we all communicated with others, especially at the toughest moments, there would be much more tranquility and peace.

But let’s face it… would we really take the time and explore other’s feelings if we knew how it would benefit us? Leaders do just that… they sense when their employees are in a rut or are “feeling somekinda way” and try to help and lending hand.

Now why some people don’t want to lead but want to boss? It’s very simple… If I am the smartest girl in my class and I tutor someone who is struggling in a certain subject, I would not spill my study tips; there’s a chance that student will have higher grades than me. I have tutored people in the past, without hesitation. The best thing one can do is learn every day. Even though I may teach someone something new, I am actually learning something new as well. I am learning how to teach someone and what limits I have. Teaching people how to do things requires a lot of patience, something I don’t have sometimes, but it’s through teaching people I learn to become more patient.

One of my life’s goals is to lead people to do well. Recently, I saw a high school friend who I was great friends with; in fact, she was my “little sister.” To hear her say years later that I inspired her to study English in college struck a chord in me. The best thing I can do for other people is share my stories and beliefs with people with the hope that something is learned. I know that although I may not psychically have lots of money, at least I know there are people who see me as a leader.

This brings me to the question… Do you guys think there’s a difference between a leader and a boss? If not, then does a leader have to boss people around for things to get done? I’d love to know your opinions!

Until next time!

 

—Stelly